Trans-Atlantic steel town blues.

Surely the height of post-modern intellectual wanking.

2007-02-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

According to a certain Mr Luhmann (and no, that's not Baz of Romeo and Juliet, Strictly Ballroom or WEAR SUNSCREEN fame), public institutions may no longer be referred to as 'institutions.' Oh no. That's far too modern and totalizing. In the future, when referencing government, church or so forth, please refer to 'functionally differentiated societal subsystems.' Because you'd be modernist and oppresive if you didn't. Or as Hannah Arendt would say, you'd be in league with the government of nobody.

Quotes from my students.

2007-02-02T11:56:00.000-08:00

Student 1 - What part of Australia are you from?

Student 2 - Religion is a very modern thing.
Me - Really? What do you mean by religion?
Student 2 - Belief in like a higher power.
Me - And how far can we trace that back
Student 2- (thinks a while) Well, to very primitive cultures, so about 40,000 years.
Me - And that's modern?

Good work, Tony.

2007-01-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

Don't discriminate in the name of my religion.

I hope, in X years time, people will wonder why this was ever an issue.

Ugh

2007-01-25T10:24:00.000-08:00

I do wish the sun would set on the British Empire.

Give a man a conference, and he can feed himself for a day.

2007-01-24T09:59:00.000-08:00

There's a certain irony here oui?

Whatever happened to faith in the city?

2007-01-23T11:07:00.001-08:00

Hug a hoodie?

Why are the church of England taking on all of Cameron's pet projects? Please tell me that they're not using the same P.R. company. I like my church like I like my politics - wet and liberal. Let's keep it that way.

Lost in the pond.

2007-01-20T07:39:00.000-08:00

The word 'jape' or the plural 'japes' does not exist this side of the Atlantic, I have recently discovered. That's one to add to 'strop' and 'pudding,' when used as a general noun for the meal after the main course, which here is named the 'entree.' Which seems at odds with the fact that it follows the 'starter.'

That is all.

What I've been up to recently.

2007-01-16T19:03:00.000-08:00

What I've been up to.

So for Christmas I bought myself a one-way ticket out of Hamilton. This is technically true, as Tom did drive me back kicking and screaming all the way from DC. Well, less kicking and screaming, and more just giving terrible directions. I think 'Canada' is a perfectly respectable answer to the question 'which direction next' when on a multi-lane highway. But then I always have been one for the old gender stereo-types. When it suits me of course. But just you try not giving me money because I'm female and then my fist will be a shakin. Though absolutely everyone is writing about gender these days.

New semester, new start: new house, really quite spanking new courses and terribly sweet new housemates. My academic plate is once more teeming and overloaded (3 courses, 2 extra language classes, once a week trips to Toronto for lectures, teaching an undergraduate course and working as a research assistant for me nun), and also a whole bunch of inter-faith education work - this is just the way I like it. Reminds me of the better times in Oxford in fact: the days when The Hive were in full swing and I was going to endless editorial meetings for The Owl, running plays and, a-hem, catering a ball.

The only questions which remains, with no weirdo in the basement, and thus the worrying realisation that I shall have to invent my own anecdotes to amuse you with, what shall I call ye old blog?

Baaaa.

2006-12-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

Because everyone else is doing it....

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits: Palestrina - Gloria

Waking Up: Belle and Sebastian - Song for Sunshine (nice)

First Day At School: Madness - Embarrassment (ouch)

Falling In Love: Eels - P.S. You rock my world (relevant)

Breaking Up: The Moody Blues - Isn't Life Strange

Prom: The Beta Band - Quiet

Life's OK: Jools Holland and Ruby Turner - Blowin' in the Wind

Breakdown: Morrissey - Everyday is like Sunday

Driving: Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster - Puppy Dogs Tails

Flashback: Damien Rice - I remember (nice!)

Getting Back Together: Stereophonics - Half the Lies You Tell Aint True

Wedding: Captain Beefheart - Frownland

Sex Scene: Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture (!)

Birth of Child: Libertines - Time for Heroes

Final Battle: Morrissey - Bengali in Platforms

Death Scene: Kasabian - Orange (Interlude)

Funeral Song: Arab Strap - Meanwhile at the bar, a drunkard muses.

Dance Sequence: David Broza - Sarabande

End Credits: Greenday - When I come Around.

Well there you go, quite good matches, some of them. Must be fate or some other thing compatible with my vague liberal plural Christian theology.

They're changing the guards at Buckingham palace. Christopher Robin went down with Alice.

2006-11-26T18:59:00.000-08:00

I've just been to see The Queen. Yes, the movie, why else would I have capitalised the definite article? I'm amazed by the number of Canadians who ask whether I've met her madge. More amazing are the comments (usually supermarket cashiers) which go something like this:

'Oh, you're from England, how nice! England's lovely, Hamilton must be killing you! (how astute, young woman I think, mistakenly because...) Oh, I have an Uncle who lives in Winchester, do you know him?

No, I don't. My island is not that small. They also always presume that the UK hasn't changed at all since their last visit in the late 60's. That's annoying.

But yes, The Queen. It was interesting. Focused heavily on the Diana saga (yawn), and her relationship with Blurrr. I liked the bit where she 'predicts' his downfall. It was somewhat odd seeing actors portraying the royal family, the resemblance were close, but no cigar. At first it was infuriating, they quite blatantly had the Queen and her staff explaining the very basics of Royal protocol in a very forced manner - for the audiences this side of the pond, I presume. And the protocol itself seemed a lot more relaxed than my historical understanding of the monarchy (and watching numerous David Starkey programs) had led me to think. They used a lot of footage from the week after Diana's death, which would have been quite nostalgic, if the late HRH didn't pop up in the media quite so much. I can imagine the film being quite the historical curio in the future, but for me, too much, too soon. If it had really portrayed the stiffness of royal protocol it would have had that wonderful 'looking in at the private lives at the royals through the keyhole' effect which, for example, the quite excellent Mrs Brown managed to do. But, by trying to be a trans-Atlantic product, it was all a bit too unstiff, overly friendly, and played on too many English stereotypes. Though I did appreciate all the references to tea.

And the winner is....

2006-11-20T17:10:00.000-08:00

So the deed has been done, the lease has been signed on house no.2. I'm really happy about it, I had a wander round Westdale village, my new neighborhood last Saturday, and discovered that it's really quite good, not only lots of little arts crafty shops, but also cafes, a fair trade store, and a really nice health shop that sells Green and Blacks chocolate - wonderful stuff. And it all works out wonderfully in terms of moving in. The current tenant (who has agreed to include his furniture in the lease) moves out on the 11th December, which means that I have all of the 12th to move my stuff in before I go to the U.S. on the 13th, yet not paying rent till January. Perfect. And I've roped in someone with a car to assist. Only problem is that I need to pay a months rent in advance, yet I don't get another installment from the nice Rhodes boys until 31st December, when I won't be here to pay the cheque in. Hopefully I can work something out. It does make the title of the blog somewhat redundant though - any suggestions for a new theme?
Everyone's complaining about end of term papers, and justfiably so, but I confess I'm finding it really quite stimulating to be let loose to write essays on subjects I enjoy again. Reading for classes has felt so perfunctory (largely because I don't enjoy the classes, I guess). It's fabulous to be left alone to play in the library, such as it is.
In international news, my most recent observation is that everyone is obsessed with sanitsing their hands. Also, I made custard today. It was heart warmingly good.

Houses are like buses: nothing for months, then two come along at once.

2006-11-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have 2 possible houses for next semester - please push me in the right direction, asap:

House Number One:
Advantages: nice house, big living room, kitchen, big shed to store my bike, nice furnished bedroom, living with 2 vegetarian grad students and very young and funky landlady in the basement (a nice replacement for the weirdo) $380 per month + utilities.
Disadvantages: It's to the west of campus, in the direction of not a fat lot. I am living far west at present, and am trying to head eastwards as much as possible. It's close to a big supermarket, but not much else. About a 10 minute cycle from campus, though a fair walk to anything. Lease would start in December, meaning that I would have to move mid term, in a couple of weeks, when I have a fair few long essays due.

House number Two:
Advantages: Very close to campus, to the East in an area called Westdale: very hip, lots to do - pubs, a cinema, a kosher bakery, good supermarket. Good fun. Sharing with undergraduates in their third year, a number of whom I already know, and are, joy of joys, Jewish. One I know well through the McMaster interfaith scene - she tutors Hebrew at the house and I could totally talk hebrew to all her students. The house is big, furnished, good kitchen, nicer living room. I get a really nice bedroom with my own office adjacent to it, which would mitigate any potential problems with work productivity that living with undergraduates could bring. Lease starts in January.
Disadvantages: a bit more expensive at $437 per month, but all utilities would cost just an extra $60 a month, which would end up at about the same I'm paying now, and it'd be good to know exactly how much my outgoings would be. The room is not furnished. The current tenant, who's spending the next semester in Geneva, has a load of furniture, and I've emailed to ask whether I could rent the furniture. If he says no, I think it would write off the house, as it wouldn't be cost effective to buy a load of furniture for such a short time.

What do you think?

The one in which Laura hates Muslims. Apparently.

2006-11-13T05:46:00.000-08:00

A wonderful suggestion from Uncy Nathan for all those stuck in second masters in towns they don't like. If you think this describes you, get in touch before we talk to the studio executives.

So, Monday morning is here again, bringing all the bright shiny enthusiasm of a new week made plausible only because of the strong second cup of tea that I now get from my shiny new teapot every morning. Am I feeling more enthusiastic? Not really. Though I have a few social outings planned, and the weekdays are definitely more bearable than the weekends. Must keep going.

Yesterday evening, I went to a Muslim/Arab/Jewish dialogue between Judea Pearl (Father of Daniel Pearl) and Akbar Achmed, of American University It was quite the affair, at Hamilton's big fancy auditorium. Oddly, Billy Connolly is playing two nights there week after next. Very odd. There was a sweet children's choir who did some arabic/hebrew numbers, who were from Hamilton. I learned a lot about the interfaith set up in the city, and was introduced to some good contacts. The dialogue itself was also very good - the two speakers, whilst being from opposite sides of the religious spectrum, are good friends so they switched between joking and serious political and religious discussion. It was quite inspiring, although, as ever with these things, there was the ubiquitous heated Jewish and Muslim contingents being extremely critical and pointing fingers. I got into an argument with a particularly trenchant Muslim chap over George Galloway. There was a book table, in which his book 'GG goes to Washington - the Brit who single handedly took on the White House' (or something like that) was being sold, which, when I saw it, prompted me to mention something disparaging to my companion. The gent next to me totally errupted, claiming GG was the only person who dares to stand up to Tony Blair (he obviously hasn't encountered the British media, or seen PMQ's.) Now, I was not a supporter of the war in Iraq, but I don't agree that the campaign for self glorification by a bombast such as GG is the right way to oppose it. I tried to explain the percption GG had created for himself in the UK, his outburst of rudeness with Jeremy Paxman being the first newswothy item, his appearance on big brother, etc etc. He also made a tit out of himself at the Oxford Union recently. I tried to explain the disparity between the work done for his (majority Muslim) constinuency between GG and his predecessor, Oona King, an iconic black Jewish female MP. But to no avail. I was accused of being anti-Islamic. As I'm sure my dear Yarnton wifey would agree, nothing could be further from the truth. And it made me sad to see all that these well intentioned middle class Jews, trying to create good feeling with their Muslim neighbours were seeing that book title and picking it up with glee as if saying 'I opposed the war too - what a hero!'

And it's philosophy class this afternoon. What an utter waste of time.

Back in the doldrums

2006-11-11T07:46:00.000-08:00

The Bran Report has taught me to link. Let's see if it worked. Also, I found the 'let anyone, even people without a blogger account comment on your blog' option. So go ahead, do your worst.

Your humble heroine has recently returned from a lovely week in Oxford with Treefox including a trip to the 2006 Mansfield college ball. This was quite the excitement, largely as it allowed me to see many Mansfielders of yore, and also because I ended up as the catering manager of the last ball, and hence, spent the whole time serving food and sorting out alcohol problems rather than doing much enjoying of the event. Now the last ball got a lot of stick, as Okapian Jackolopes will testify. In my defence, I had 6 pounds per head for the entire evening, and managed, I think at least, to provide a decent amount of food and beverages for such a paltry sum. We don't all have contacts at KPMG.

And now it's back to Hamilton. I can't describe the stomach churning feeling of unhappiness that set in as the coach pulled into its not so gleaming industrial spires. Back to feeling trapped in a large, unexciting industrial town in the backwaters of Ontario. Back to life in which most of my time is spent alone, missing Treefox , and wishing that I could get around, do things, see things, and that there were things in Hamilton to see and do. But learning lots of exciting things, and being brought into contact with lots of exciting books is the consolation, even if I do miss the intellectual rigour of the Oxford tutorial and the idea that secondary literature is a good thing. Unfortunately, my courses this term do not exactly retain my interest. Modern Jewish Philosophy (focusing on 3 thinkers, with absolutely no mention of historical context), the compulsory 'Methods in the Study of Religion' course, and Anthropology of Religion. Now anthropology is good: in terms of learning about the theoretical basis of cultural identity, it's what I'm here to do. Except in this course, all we seem to do is read the odd thinker (again, no context, no secondary literature), and muse about how they 'speak to our research'. Last week I gave up pretending to be interested in this endeavour and confessed 'I'm afraid I have no interest in studying live people. I prefer them dead by at least 50 years. You don't need to have ethical consent to sit in the archives'. Next term should be better: Canadian Jewish history (barukh ha shem - finally, what I came to this country to learn), Views of the 'Other' in Rabbinic Literature, and an Anthropology course in Diaspora, Trans-Nationalism and Religious Identities.' Completely perfect. Excellent. I must confess: I like doing courses. It's an instant learn-reward process, and it means that you get brought into contact with a lot more literature than you might find on an Oxford reading list. I do however, miss the 8 week terms. 16 weeks, as we have here, is almost unbearable.

Still, not long until December, and a trip to America to see an assortment of Oxonians. What ho.

My apologies, dear reader, for such an unlively post. I confess, I'm not really very happy here.

To be an Englishman....

2006-10-30T05:39:00.000-08:00

As inspired by recent conversations with a certain scientist friend now in Loughborough, and his recent posts on the subject, it is time to talk about being English in a strange land. Of course, this sense of exile is rather mediated when one lives in a colony with a pronounced sense of Anglo-philia: though I fear this in itself may just be laten anti French-Canadian sentiment.

Still, I have found myself using the most bizarre terminology. 'Terribly' has become my favourite intensifier. 'Gosh' my favourite exclamation. I have a strong desire to 'take' rather than to 'drink' tea, I'm being self-reflectively sarcastic on a regular basis because the Canadians are just too darn nice to roll with the whole sarcasm barrell. I watch the backdated episodes of Coronation St on Canadian national TV for nostalgia value: Sunday nights, when you've just had your bath, Sunday dinner gurgling away in the old digestive tract, pot of tea, digestive biscuits for dunking. Eeh bah gum, 'otpot and a pint o'bitter.

You see, as Mr H. rightly pointed out, to feel a pronounced sense of Britishness in the UK is conterminous with being a football hooligan/neo- Nazi.. or even worse, Thatcherite type. But it's there. My last Masters thesis was written on the ways in which the Anglo-Jewish community adopted overtly British (precisely, overtly CofE) practises. Anglo-Jewish synagogues are incredibly British institutions: a strong sense of decorum and tea after the service. It was integrated into Anglo-Jewish cultural identity largely because it was perceived that that was the best was for the Jews to show the UK that they were assimilated. When in Rome... Britishness is there, but one doesn't notice it until living in diaspora: such as the American colony at Yarnton last year, or now, Ontario.

All in all, they're not bad character traits to have. A little too reserved at times, and the propensity to be a little poncy, I confess. Still, better that than North American superficiality. Now that's just not cricket.

Pocket a picket.

2006-10-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

Weirdo watch: he has started wearing a baseball cap. This is a greying man in his late forties. Far be it for me to be judgemental... ah, sod it, we've already crossed that line. He looks a bit disturbing.

Big news in McMaster land though, is that the union in which we grad students are members, as per our employment with the university as teaching and research assistants, is negotiating a new contract with the university, and, having reached somewhat of a stalemate, have decided - most likely - to strike. This is incredibly annoying. Their main points of contention is that we are overworked, and do not receive pay that is equivalent to our tuition fee increases. This is overlooking the fact that at $35 per hour, we're paid about twice as much as any other grad students in other Ontario universities: people really do fund their entire education by teaching. And we have a better benefit deal than most of the full time employed steel workers in this town. And irony upon ironies, in order to receive strike pay, we'd have to picket 20 hours per week: far more time than any of us currently spend working or teaching!!

I'm lucky, as I don't start teaching until next term. This term I'm working as a research assistant for a sweet little lady who works on the Dead Sea Scrolls and just happens to be.... a nun!!! I frickin love nuns. Jews and nuns, they're what make my world go around. They really are. Anyway, she's going to pay me in cash, and I'll still spend hours per week finding manuscripts for her. That way we go under the table, and neither of us are disadvantaged. Black market work for a nun. My life is complete.

Whilst the union do have some legitimate grievances, they're seriously putting in danger the fact that we have, in many ways, a sweet deal. Whilst I do feel a gutteral kind of responsibility to stand up for the rights of the workers (for any Brits born after the 90's, this is called 'Old Labour'), activism for the sake of activism really gets on my nerves.

For the benefit of those in my acquaintence currently studying Marxist economic theory against their will.

2006-10-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

'There is an old East European joke concerning the differences between science, philosophy and Marxism. What is science? It is trying to catch a very small black cat in a very large, entirely dark room. What is philosophy? It is trying to catch a very small black cat in a very large, entirely dark room, when it is not there. What is Marxism? It is trying to catch a very small black cat in a very large, entirely dark room when it is not there, and pretending that one has caught it and knows all about it.'

- Ernest Gellner.

Incidentally, this metaphor became particularly well known; so much so that a religious/academia version was developed by a certain David Shulman:

'Judaism is looking for a tiny black cat in a large dark room when there is no cat, while ocmplaining loudly all the time that you have been badly and repeatedly scratched. Christianity is loking for a tiny black cat in a large dark room where there is no cat, while insisting that the one who used to be there has risen from the dead. Writing a doctorate, on the other hand, is putting a tiny black cat in a large dark room and then coming back over and over to check if it is there.'

(though I fear that putting this particular citation within the reach of a certain Revd SC will only inflict another witty aphorism - to add the the hundreds already in his collection - on his poor unsuspecting A Level RS students. Namely, my brother. Sorry damski.)

All quiet on the Canadian front...

2006-10-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

Very little to report in 'weirdo watch' of late. It was Canadian thanksgiving this weekend just past, and his car disappeared for a fair while. I presumed he had gone home, until his car reappeared on the Sunday. Odd, because thanksgiving festivities usually take place on Sunday-Monday. Still, I haven't seen him since. And as he seems to have gone out today, I feel it might be safe enough to do laundry - huzzah! A friend did catch a glimpse of him recently in deepest darkest downtown Hamilton however, standing on a soapbox and telling all who cared - or who did not care - to listen how both the gunman in the recent shootings in Pennsylvania, and indeed, the Amish themselves were on the next elevator downwards. A very enlightened approach to current affairs, I'm sure you'll all agree.

Many people, particularly profs in my department, have started to suggest that I should be thinking of getting out of the house as soon as I can. I'm starting to think that they may well be right.

On the thanksgivng subject, I managed to get myself invited to 4 different meals over the festive weekend. Much food, much merriment, and a beach ball like Laura was the end result. I like the idea of thanksgiving, just when the leaves are starting to change, and the weather becomes autumnal and blustery: a very smybolic holiday. Also, this is the time when people purchase pumpkins, scoop out the inside to make pie, and then decorate the otside of their homes with them and other such autumn themed decorations, which not only looks pretty, but also makes the idea of making Jack O'Lanterns at the end of the month more readily explicable. A very economical use of the pumpkin, in my opinion. Also, pumpkin pie (first experienced at our Yarnton American thanksgiving last year qua Johnny) is darn good. This week, I've also been to Toronto to see Regina Spektor. Good times, Toronto is fun, and it was great to get out, have drinks and see live music again. However the whole RS kooky gimic gets a little tired for me, after a while. Better when she brought the band out, and moved away from all the solo stuff. Still, let the fun times roll.

Also, a mention to Rundown, the band fronted by my wee brother, who just got a recording contract!! Not at all shabby for a group of 17 year olds balancing their music with A-Levels: much sisterly pride in this neck of the woods. At the risk of sounding like a teenage hipster-wannabe, check them out on myspace, dudes.

The God Box

2006-10-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

When I agreed to let weirdo assume the task of hooking our house up with cable TV, I thought I was getting a good deal. I wouldn't have to do any work, it wouldn't cost me very much, and there would be a film channel to wile away the cold Canadian nights.

How wrong I was. Weirdo got us 60 channels, no less! Well, that's what we're supposed to get. Only about 60% come through with anything like decent reception, and of those channels, a good 60% are God-channels. That's right people, evangelical brain washing any hour of the day or night. If the only films I wanted to watch were 'Jesus the movie' or Ben Hur's 'Ten Commandements' I'd be laughing my way into the afterlife. However, I don't think I'm going to be getting those soft porn flicks I was so hoping for. Woe, woe, and a plague upon your houses.

Still, the crack-teet of the masses.. is that not right, Mr Twitchen?

I used to like watching films with my friend Charlie. We used to 'travel to the cinema' (sic facebook) on a not infrequent basis. It would be lovely to do so with him now, but unfortunately, the only cinema in Hamilton is in a really dodgy mall, and Charlie is in a merry car. Still, here it is Charlie - the mention in my blog you were so desirous of!

And there's more...

2006-09-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

When I got home this evening, I discovered that the load of underwear that I had put in the washing machine this morning had been hung out to dry by the weirdo. Which is nice of him, I suppose, in theory.

Still, I'd much much much rather that he hadn't.

Curious and Curiouser.

2006-09-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

Weirdo's been coming up with a few classics of late. I don't have to see him that often, fortunately, because he has a seperate bathroom and kitchen in the basement. But he's been coming home pretty late recently and, as the front door opens into the living room, I've been there eating dinner, drinking wine and watching irreligious television shows as 'keep away from me' signals. Aahh, semiotics are wonderful things. But, he has initiated a couple of conversations. The first went roughly as follows:

W: So, I was reading the bible today.
L: ..... uh-huh.
W: And I was reading the bit where it talks about Jesus as the High Priest, and it occurred to me, that's why you study Jews, to understand Jesus better.
L: Well, not really. I study the cultural influences on modern Jewish identity, and Jesus isn't a big factor there, to be honest.
W: Yeah, maybe, anyway, whenever I see anything about Jews though, I think of you.

Disturbing, but not as disturbing as...

W: Is your internet working?
L: Err, yes (as she silently prays... 'please don't ask to borrow my laptop!')
W: Oh cos mine isn't.
L; That's a pity.
W: You can find some great things on the internet, eh?
L: Yeah, you can.
W: Like the other day, I was looking you up on google, and all these sites about athletics came up (there's a Laura Tomes who is quite the athlete in the US). That's funny huh?
L: Errrr... yeah, that's not me.
W: Yeah, I guess not.

Oh dear Lord.

In other news, the leaves are beginning to change, and I am very much looking forward to my first 'fall', which is apparently quite spectacular around these parts. The Religious Studies department here at Mac is treating me wonderfully well, and I've met with a fair few people now who have said encouraging things about my research project. And my tour round varieties of Canadian beer continues apace.

A good week, all in all.

Introductions all round

2006-09-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

By the popular demand of the McMaster-ites, Laura's blog 'There's a weirdo in my basement' has been created. This is primarily to record my dealings with the weirdo in my basement, but also, for the non-Canadians amongst the reading population, to tell of my antics out in the Colonies.

Now, to explain the title of said blog, there really is a weirdo in my basement. His name is Murray, and he is a recovering alcoholic who recently found Jesus; and my friends, he has decided, that I should find him too (cue lame jokes about being so careless as to lose him in the first place). Murray is socially awkward, very much so. His behaviour is completely unpredicatble. He's not dangerous (I hope!), although I am installing a lock on my bedroom door this weekend. And unfortunately, I live pretty much alone with him. 2 British students were due to be occupying the vacant rooms, but last week, I discovered that the 'Debbie' and 'Sean' behind the emails to my landlord were in fact dodgy textiles dealers from Ghana who were sending enormous fake cheques to my landlord and asking him to refund the difference. Not only, that, they were also using my landlord's name and address to open bank accounts, AND using both his and my name and the house address as their Canadian business contact information.. Oh what larks. However, I have decided that a positive attitude must be taken towards this situation! And where there is misery, there are also bragging rights and fun tales to tell. And this will be their repository.

Currently, I am exploring ways to keep the weirdo at bay. Much like the effect of garlic on a vampire. I discovered this possibility whilst watching Dangerous Liasons last week. Weirdo came in to the house during a particularly raunchy bit, looked at me, looked at the screen, looked at me, looked at the screen, and ran off to the basement faster than you could say 'Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam'. The answer my friends, is clearly More Soft Porn.